Talk to me

At often times, people say to me, just shoot me a message when you feel like you need to talk to someone.

But in reality, "shooting someone a message" is not as easy as it seems. I appreciate that people are willing to help but unfortunately I find help like this hard to accept. I know people often mean it in the kindest ways and they'll try to understand and not be judgemental but thing is - I don't want to burden you with my problems that you'll probably never understand.

And so I share it on this blog which no one really reads because it's like - I'm throwing this out there. Whoever chances upon this will be very welcome to read it but I will never go out of my way to give these parts of me to you.

But hell knows why am I like this

Problems

I was fine yesterday. I was so happy. I felt so blessed to be surrounded by people who have such positive energy and so much motivation.

But today I woke up feeling like shit again. I felt groggy as hell. I stared blankly at my laptop feeling so trapped in my own fucking body wanting just to get out of everything. What was I so worried about? Friend said that it was just me worrying about my future. I guess part of it is true but part of me isn't quite sure what it is that I'm so worried about.

It's just this looming fear that everything is out to get me? It just feels like I'm in danger...? It's just inexplicable.

And the only thing I could do is shout for help online. Out towards the vast space. To my public blog. To my public twitter. To my public instagram. To whom?